Quick thought. I was in a meeting the other day and suggested something that was rejected. It was not the typical case of I see it one way and you see it another--that does not bother me--I enjoy that kind of tension, it's interesting.
No. this person objected in a way I found offensive--she was wrong, I was sure. So now what?
I could feel that defensive monster creep up my spine, pinching every last nerve in my neck and pushing against my temples.
Of course, I thought of not much else for a few hours. I kept "praying" which was telling God what I wanted to say and asking for words that would not speak into my offense or emotions. I wanted him to make me sound good and appropriate.
Later, it hit me. Advocate for, don't defend against. Speak into what I want and why I think it has merit--don't speak at all into what I find objectionable or ill advised about someone else's position.
I want to share the details, but knowing myself--I would frame them so I look cooler than I am or more gracious than I deserve and I don't want to violate a confidence, even if from the context of a meeting. So I leave you with this...advocate for don't defend against.
In the future, over coffee I will fill in all the blanks in a way I know you will absolutely agree with me.
"May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14 (NIV)