The Blessing: Welcome Wisdom

The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance by John Trent and Gary Smalley offers practical application of the need and benefit of parents blessing their children.

It's is not a book about self esteem, but rather a carefully written identification of what is blessing (meaningful touch, spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future and active commitment).

It also is rich in warning, setting forth clearly the consequences of withholding blessing. Their explanation of the contrasting "curse" was powerful, and grounded in sound Biblical thought.

The stories are compelling, and a word of encouragement--the book starts slow but gains momentum in content and delivery.

It is helpful for parents of any ages (including adults) as it speaks to the ways we can really express love and care for others in any relationship--while maintaining the essential need for blessing in the parent child relationship.

While it would be a great baby gift, it would also bless a parent who is about to gain a daughter or son in law or for parents working through the dynamics of a blended family. It reminds us all that what we say, and how we say it matters much.

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Thankful for a Great View

My daughter was in conflict.  She was eager,  she said, "dying," to get back to a church mission project at a child development center,  but not willing to ask for time from work as a swim coach, as she is the only coach comfortable with the little boy on the team who has autism.  She likes coaching him and they have made some real progress in the pool. 

That is some dilemma. 

It's something to see God at work in your kid, recognizing this is not some inherited trait, like her height (paternal) or her stubbornness (also paternal) or her tears over sad songs (maternal) or her love of ice cream (both ma and pa gene pools generously contributed). 

Nor is it the result of some whiz bang parenting trick that I read, applied and presto!  Results! 

It's her responding faithfully and actively to the grace given her by God. 

I don't count myself as naive, I think there will be moments, perhaps seasons, which lead to different blog entries. 

For now, today,  it's a glorious thing to see from the front row of life.

You Are Just Like Your Mom---Bleh!

24-hours ago I was driving home my daughter from getting her wisdom teeth removed. Her face was tear stained and swollen.


The dental nurse who assisted the doctor in the procedure looked at me, smiled and said, “she is just like her mom.”

I was not a compliment. I had my teeth pulled 2 years ago and had to be sedated. A lot. My eldest panicked in ways familiar to the maternal family line.

I paused to consider two things. The power of inheritance, legacy and our ability or inability to control the impact of a harmful legacy. When I see my inadequacies in my daughters, and how it limits them, I wonder how can I encourage them to limit the limiters? I am reading a book that says a huge mistake we naturally make is to try and build up our weaknesses instead of building our strengths.

I was sick to see my weakness so strongly expressed in the next generation. I had intentionally worked to downplay my anxiety and encourage (build up) my daughter as she experienced what for me was a trial. So do I have to settle for her just being like her mama in this regard (and why did they not inherit my love for a well made bed)?

One of the lessons is the blessing that comes from perspective, and as uncomfortable as my eldest is right now, she is also experience the boost of confidence that comes from going through something hard, knowing it’s worth it in the long run. Will that benefit take the edge off of her fear?

She can’t be something she is not, and she is not like her daddy confronting painful treatments or procedures with a bring-it-on- approach, but is, instead like her mama, a wee bit wound up. I am not convinced I can unwind those genes but I am now acutely aware of what my personal weakness looks like in my child—it’s a bit disturbing to see.

John 8:36 says, “so if the Son sets you free you will be free indeed.”

I can’t free her from the all too familiar traps that trip me up, but I can point her to the one who can. She, like her mama needs to learn to trust and lean on faith to free up from the temptation to yield to fear. That truth is best legacy I can leave with her.

Encouraging her to respond differently than my typical response won’t work, but encouraging her to respond faithfully first might just yield something that looks unfamiliar and so much better.