Thursday, September 16, 2010

Not a good nor a God move

You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise:  Deuteronomy 6:7

I think this blog is read by 10's of people every other month, and none of them shares much DNA with me, so I am safe.  I also think I made a mistake under the dangerous umbrella of good intentions, but motivated by offense and a mama bear's desire to protect.

One of the Swan chicks went to a camp this summer, and upon returning requested friend status on Facebook (my husband swears FB is the spawn of Satan) of her counselor--a 20 year old sophomore in college.   This request was declined and repeated and then ignored--which is ok certainly the counselor's prerogative, but the said 20 year old accepted many other camper friend requests.   For those not familiar with FB, the rub is this--my daughter can see who the counselor's friends are and also see interaction between counselor and other campers, when the campers are friends with my daughter.   If you are not "on FB" none of this makes sense--but cut to the chase my daughter was flatly rejected by someone she esteems and she knew the extent of the rejection.

Found out about all of this two days ago.  Prayed, then wrote.   Should have prayed, then slept and prayed again.   The temptation to blast said 20 year old was overwhelming.  I came very close and may have actually done that.  Do have some guilt about reaction and hubby commented that I had some other options than the one I chose which would have also resolved the situation.  Then he repeated his feeling about FB being evil, evil, evil-- etc, etc.

This woman hurt my daughter and I slapped back.  I chose my words carefully, but I know how to hit like the mafia where it is not really visible to the naked eye. 

My girl is now "friends" with this counselor, she does not know I wrote the counselor with some pointed concerns and observations.  My girl is also thrilled that the counselor finally "found the time to check her friends request".   

I was right, that is obvious.  It was also the right thing to make clear how significant, what a big deal it is, to manage FB and campers with care--its a very public forum.  I was wrong to write assumption into my inquiry--and I knew it at the time and did it anyway.  Cheap grace--act poorly (sin) and clean up later. 

Not a good move nor a God move.

1 comment:

  1. I missed the "assumption" part you mentioned that you wrote into your inquiry. Seems clear-cut to me. And I can understand your mama bear instinct. Moreover, you write that you chose your words carefully. Were they carefully chosen to make your points as pointed (so to speak) as possible? Or carefully chosen so as to not go overboard? This is a tricky situation.

    But I'm afraid that I would have done the same thing.



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Roswell, GA
Loves to find the answers to three questions of a sound Bible study: what does it say, what does it mean, what difference does it make?